Muttville is such a special place. The love for the dogs and each other, is palpable.
One of the tasks I undertake there is to be present at euthanasia. To provide some heart, some presence, lots of love, and support.
One of my friends thinks it's kind of ghoulish to volunteer for this.
I feel honoured.
I've done hospice for the most precious people to me. I''ve faced my own mortality several times-death doesn't scare me. It fascinates me. The peace. The possibility. The beauty.
Maybe it's my spooky New Age guy thing, the fact that I know the power of heart connection, my Reiki training, my optimism-that allows me to do this.
As I clear my mind, I coordinate my breathing with the dog's, I practice extending my heart, my unconditional love, I use my massage training, and I stop myself from spiraling into grief.
I call the elders in (Fugee, Scamper, Spot, Happy Cat, Snoopy, Winifred, Niner) and ask them to greet the newly-transitioning pup.
Is any of it real? I don't know. Is any of this?
What I do know is that this most compassionate act is given in love, in comfort, in presence.
So, sweet Hannah, run free!
We didn't know you long, but your final act was pure love. Thank you for letting us love you.
Be at peace.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
SOCIALLY BEAUTIFULLY ANXIOUSLY AWKWARD--LOVE IS. CONNECTED. "Row row row your boat, gently to the Sea Crystalline landslides and magick birds Life is but a dream and even dreams are but dreams within Themselves, dreams." I, at the edge of 17, at timestamp 3:17 can be heard to be screaming Stevie's name at Hollywood Bowl, final night of Tusk tour, 1980. A magickal time, I met my dear friend, Diane Thompson, who was an equally big Stevie fan. She was in the front row; I the nose bleeds. We met Stevie together at her condo in Marina del Ray a few weeks later. Lost touch with Diane, who used to work for Jerry Moss at A&M. Last I knew, she married a German guy and was living in North Hollywood, I think. I asked in a Stevie FB fan page if anyone had the bootleg I used to have on cassette of this concert. They did. Wow. It affirms my memory as NOT being crazy, or at least no crazier than I remembered. We are ALL universally connected now whether you buy in, sell out or don't even care or notice; Thank GOD for the dreamers, the dreams, those who never forget, those who embellish, those who strip away, and those who knit the scraps of awareness back into a Where and Now that has some semblance of Sense and Reality to it. Ergo, Ego, I go where YOU go, until there is just US and NO Thing. ONE BLISS. For YOU.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
In doing some alterna-wellness snooping recently, I stumbled across a thread of a conversation I started back in 2005 on early social networking platform,Tribe.net. It was regarding the potential for using ayahuasca as a tool toward understanding HIV.
Ayahuasca, also known as vine of the soul, has been used as a shamanic tool for at least 2,500 years in the Amazon. One of the world's most potent hallucingens/entheogens, it contains among other active ingredients, DMT--sometimes called the spirit molecule. DMT was the active ingredient in Syrian Rue, what some ethnobotanists feel, was the source of Moses' bushfire. It is also the chemical released during the brain at death and during ecstatic religious experience, the All-Are-One, lets-DO-go-into-the-light-Carol-Ann chemical.
To be clear, this is no recreational 'trip'- it is a profound, intense, holy, and for some, nauseating and terrifying journey into one's body and psyche, at the energetic level; one where, if one allows it to happen, the plants will sing their medicine of wisdom, the shadow will show its grace, and the separate, illusory ego will experience Death.
Now that is the sort of Dance of the Pierced Seven Veils that this Son-of-a-belly dancer would find most fascinating.
Since the get go, I have been a true scion of my tree hugger-, Whole Earth Catalogue Mom. I'm all about alternative and complementary therapies, about the broken road less travelled. So, you see. this would be right up my tree, or, uh, right down my vine(?)
I believe Western medicine must incorporate integral modalities on the complex path toward Wellness. Synergistic, east/west justified/ancient mind, body spirit wellness, easing "dis-ease" in the body.
Our arrogance toward science and machine and Man-as-God egomania, has returned to ancient therapies because they are successful. Healing with sound--ultrasound; healing with light-infrared and ultraviolet; healing with crystals and stones-cobalt therapy, magnetic imaging; breath and meditation for brain entrainment and stress reduction. So I think it is important to listen to Gaia and the Shaman--to get into the vegetable mind of the planet.
I had thought it could be a cool Master's degree research project at CIIS or Stanford. I chatted about it with Graham Hancock, author famous for his research into aya... he thought it held value.
I do understand that I am 'too out there' for many folks, but to me, the only sane way to respond to an unreasonable disease is to attack with love, with imagination, an with the best of human knowledge, which includes state of the art and in my world view, the song of our vegetal friends, singing the soul home.
Here's the post:
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
I definitely invited the land of crazy to stick around when I suspended disbelief at all the synchronicities and serendipitous events occurring in my life, so many and with such frequency, that I began to question the nature of reality.
My pal, Jennifer's dad, Ed Holmes--the genius behind St. Stupids Day and the SF Mime Troupe, had noticed this quality in his life and coined the term serentypical. The magickal intersects and weaves its way into one's life with such regularity, that it is no longer unusual to have the magickal happen, its almost ordinary or expected.
Welcome to the Craig side of the Mirror, Alice.
I started noticing the archetypal energies in my life. As I lived up to the idea of the most obvious, Hermes the messenger, I started to notice others equally at play in my life. Chiron, the wounded healer. The Trickster/Mirror- who teaches lessons people don't want to learn. The Catalyst--Change Agent. As The Journeyman who goes through the darkness of the underworld , bringing a message of light to the other side.
But perhaps the most profound is that of the Phoenix. Life has given me the great good fortune/bitter pill of constantly having to reinvent myself. Life has provided a constantly changing landscape of dissolving jobs and tenuous living situations which has made the ability to arise from the ashes of my former life, and to take wing as a new version of the Me monster.
On a deeper take on the version of the Phoenix, I started to feel a very real and strong tie to my brother, Bruce, who died in a fire a year before I was born. We share a middle name, and I felt like maybe we shared a spirit in the Here Now.
On Day Six of AIDS/LifeCycle 10, this year, I took a nod from my friend, Mariano Puente, and dedicated it Bruce, my little cherubic brother. I thought about him all day, and was deep in thought (though still present on the bike...) when I pulled into a Rest Stop at Santa Barbara's lovely coast.
As I parked my bike, I walked up to a guy near bike parking for some reason. I didn't need anything and it was going to be a quick piss and hop on over to the Paradise Pit for ice cream.
He turned around and said, "This is from your brother Bruce for you." He pinned me with a Bruce button. Obviously shaken, I said, "Wow, I was just thinking about my brother, Bruce, who died before I was born..."
He looked quizzical and shaken, too. "I don't know why I said that, but it is from your brother Bruce, and he loves you..." and he hugged me and started to cry.
I dried my eyes, got back on my bike without peeing, and pedaled down the path toward ice cream, a strange and heady concoction of happy and sad, celebrating and grieving, melancholy and optimistic, about this innate great gift that I have been given, and was most grateful for Bruce sticking around to sharethis kayak with me in the Flow of Life.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
How does the sea become king of all streams?
Because it lies lower than they!
Hence it is the king of all streams.
Therefore, the Sage reigns over the people by humbling himself in speech;
and leads the people by putting himself behind.
Thus it is that when a Sage stands above the people, they do not feel the heaviness of his weight;
And when he stand sin front of his people, they do not feel hurt.
Therefore, all the world is glad to push him forward without getting tired of him.
Just because he strives with nobody,
nobody can ever strive with him.
--Tao Teh Ching, Lao Tzu, translated by John C. H. Wu