for alex.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006
11:27 AM
for alex.
Hey folks. Just a few days ago I mentioned how I had to write a piece for my friend Alex as she was preparing for AIDS/LifeCycle last year. Seems she had to justify to her boss why she wanted to take a week of personal time to do AIDS/LifeCycle, why it was necessary. I really made me think about what the ride meant to me and made me feel as if I was accompanying Alex on her ride. I was really grateful for her request to make me stop and think about how necessary, transformative and beautiful the rides are.

Thank you, Alex, for that, and for your other numerous gifts of heart that I've experienced knowing you. I dedicate this ride to Alexandra Brucker, a two time AIDS/LifeCycle participant, a Honolulu AIDS Marathon finisher (a Switzer!), my friend.

Alex passed away last week at the age of 29. I'll miss her.

I spoke with Alex about a week ago. We talked about her life in Jackson Hole, about my upcoming ALC journey, about movies, chuckled about our lousy money situations, laughed out loud about the ugly painting of a foot she sent me--about how our dogs were the centers of our worlds. She was thrilled about her upcoming trip to see her friend Artie. It was an hopeful, comfortable, easy interaction.

Alex felt badly about not being in a position to donate to my ride. I've certainly been there! I told her that her support meant the world to me and was more than ample, but if she wanted to do something extra, she could buy me my favorite kind of Clif bar--that it would mean more to me than a thousand dollar donation. In her great efficiency, she was on it.

Three days later, I received a package. Inside, my favorite Clif bar and a framed photo collage of her experience riding last year. Her joy was tangible.

On the back, Alex wrote: For Craigers, love you always,xox aeb. I'm cheering for you! Yea! Go, Craig!! Have your own wonderful experience, and think of me along the way. I'll be with you."

Yes, Alex, you will. The wind at my back, as it were. (And Alex, I will need MORE than a little help, as I haven't gotten this sorry ass in the saddle very much this year....)

Thank you, Alex. I offer this ride to you, my beautiful friend with the acerbic wit, the bawdy laugh, the sad and hopeful eyes, and a heart enormously tender and loving. You've made a difference to me.

In trying to reconcile loss, in a world which can seem cold and inscrutable, I have found the words of the Dalai Lama to be of comfort: "Some people who are sweet and attractive, strong and healthy, happen to die young. They are masters in disguise teaching us about impermanence."

Again, thank you, Alex. Namaste. I honor the God in you.

Be at peace, be at peace, be at peace.

Xoxo craig