who?

a heart strengthened by hardness
now feels the presence
of a small and intricate hole.
always there, tolerated.

what was imagined to be a hole of emptiness
and had been justified, become adjusted to
was found to be a lock
for which you hold the key.

who could forsee
a turn of events
a stranger from outside my world
letting me in to my innermost self?

a strange and cautious dance
of not revealing too much
and scaring off another.

I grow bolder in showing my heart, not hiding behind
an armor of gratitude, gifts and humor

at first i thought i was feeling overwhelming sorrow
but now realize i was just feeling raw
awake and aware
perhaps for the first time.

how did i get so lucky?

i fell fast and hard
as I never have before
and am still in awe of my great fortune.

yes, my friend,
I fell with a thud.

gratitude, not as armor.

gratitude as love.