A Connecticut Yankee in, Well, Connecticut.

“I’m gonna jump!!”

Inching along the edge of a worn out life, I close my eyes and try to make sense of my next move.

“Jump!! Jump!!! Jump!!!”

Carolyn Myss, Tony Robbins and a Nike® shoe rep chant in unison. Pema Chodron executes a flawless Flying C and lands a perfect Chinese split, her nun pompoms fluttering. Quite a feat in maroon robes.

“Do it NOW!!” Eckhart Tolle lilts in his Stephen Hawkings lullaby voice.

“All you got to do is jump over the moon!”

Maureen lows and moos and disappears in a puff of smoke as she’s paid her Rent, and is a committed Wicked witch now.

So I jumped. Into…

Complete groundlessness.

As self-doubt and second-guessing breathe down the back of my neck and kiss sweet whispers of “What the hell have you done?” into my ears, I’ve never felt less sure of my decision to leap.

Fortunas Audentes Juvat. Fortune favors the bold, or so it’s said. And I’m no stranger to bold decisions. Quitting an ‘important’ job with healthcare at a time I was fairly immune suppressed and on two grand a month in meds, to travel through India, Nepal, Tibet and South East Asia for over a year. Continuing to travel when I developed malaria and pneumonia on the eve Millennium. Night buses in India. A street corner fly encrusted turd samosa. Traveling to Africa with an aggressive case of MRSA to climb Kilimanjaro and sit with some gorillas.

Any of these choices might have seemed like carelessness, pushing the envelope to the point of bursting, or, some have even thought, a bit suicidal in mindset. Poppycock, I say! (We all say poppycock far too infrequently.)

I trusted in my inner barometer, trusted in The Path, and in the universe’s unconditional ability to wrap me up in protective ball of loving care.

I continue to test my decisions and hold up the measuring rod of, “Which decision scares the bejeebers out of me? Do it!”

I love Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” I like to add, “and that which doesn’t kill you gives you a better sense of humor and a broadened sense of compassion.”

I think at the end of the day, we all sit in on a Defending Your Life People’s Court, judged by how we lived our lives, made our decisions. Was fear the primary decision factor in how we lived? Did we make informed, bold, fearless choices?

So here I sit in rural, antique, Lyme’s Disease speckled Connecticut, and Lindsey Buckingham “Never going back again” is running like some endless loop through my noggin.

I’ve never felt less sure of my choices. But I will trust that The Path will materialize in the abyss to lead me on to my next adventure. Or at least will be a diverting adventure on my date with fate.

I’d like to posit this to you—how have you found reassurance in complete groundlessness? In situations where your Road Less Traveled is a screeching descent into a Where The Hell Am I?

In Life As Alchemy, we are charged with taking the Lead in our lives and transmuting it to Gold. I’ve had a much easier time in the past seeing a course of action.

Hey, I know it’s early—only been here a week, but it’s a downpoury Connecticut day and right about now, I’m really noticing the complete directionlessness of a groundless situation. Where I’d normally see limitless opportunity, I just see animated neon question marks. (Perhaps I should lay off the Psilicybin Crispies for breakfast…)

I look forward to seeing it unfold.

Plummettingly Yours,
Namaste.
Craig
Hermes Alchemist