The Melancholy Optimist, aka To Coin a Phrase.

The Melancholy Optimist.

If one were to judge my state of mind by reading my blog, they might think I was sliding the slippery slope into a pretty dark depression. I don’t think that’s the case. I think my general nature is that of the melancholy optimist. Yes, I do acknowledge I have a light, upbeat, positive and open side, and I equally acknowledge I have a dark, hidden, restless, sad and solitary nature as well.

Bipolar? Nope. Been tested. Extraordinarily Gemini in nature, the Goofus and the Gallant? Definitely.

I prefer to think of it as both sides of the same coin. Duality, polarity noted by Buddha, Jesus, Lao Tzu and the basic tenet of alchemy, as noted by Hermes Trismegistus.

Hermes aka Hermes the Thrice Great, was “a divine fountain of writing, Hermes Trismegistus was credited with tens of thousands of writings of high standing, reputed to be of immense antiquity. Plato's Timaeus and Critias state that in the temple of Neith at Sais, there were secret halls containing historical records, which had been kept for 9,000 years. Clement of Alexandria was under the impression that the Egyptians had forty-two sacred writings by Hermes, encapsulating all the training of Egyptian priests.” (From our friends at Wikipedia…).

One of these writings was the Emerald Tablet, also known as Smaragdine Table, Tabula Smaragdina, or The Secret of Hermes, an ancient text purporting to reveal the secret of the primordial substance and its transmutations. (Thanks again, wiki.)

One of Hermes’ findings was the Law of Polarity: All things are dual in nature. Opposites are identical but different in degree. All things are balanced in their extremes of opposition.

So I guess I’m just being true in acknowledging that I am dual. Jung felt it was only after one truly embraced their darkness or shadow side that one could fully evolve.

"The task of midlife is not to look into the light, but to bring light into the darkness. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” ~Carl Jung : Alchemical Studies

I think you might have gotten the gist that I like the mystical answer. Astrology, psychics, philosophy and metaphysics. Religion, karma, intentional destiny and chaotic fatalism. All are attempts to make sense of our world and the events around us.

While I love the idea of karma biting the bullies on the ass and giving the good guys an extra slice of pie, I also have tried to grasp the reasons behind seemingly senseless acts of cruelty, violence, illness and loss happening to kind, compassionate people.

Is it possible in the quest for meaning that the lesson is that there is no meaning? That seems too fatalistic. If everything is one’s destiny, then would there even be a point in getting out of bed or making a decision? Fate said you were going to have peanut butter for dinner. Why break your back for a steak?

This philosophy would appear to take away any sort of responsibility for one’s life. It’s attributing what happens around us to prewritten destiny. One’s action or nonaction would have been fated to happen. Hey does this mean I can eat like a pig and never exercise again? I must have been meant to be a pig!

Okay then. Where does this place the power of positive thinking, creative visualization, prayer, and changing your thinking, changing your life? At exact opposites. If focused intention could wish away any challenge, would anyone die, be sick, have their favorite team lose the Super Bowl?

In a really half assed attribution because I can’t remember which of David Sedaris’ writings I read it in, he pictured a God sitting around deciding who would win the Tony Award and when to make the foliage peak in Vermont.

If all prayers were answered, there would no death (unless some creep prayed for someone’s death…), there would be peace, enough food for all, no disease or debt, seven day weekends, and our Christmas dinner would have a hell of a lot more Hermes, Goward, Tewksbury, and Martins around it, as a pack of adored dogs and cats begged for handouts (unless they could pray for their own little all you can eat mouse and bone buffet…).

So maybe this means that life may be a mixture of reasonable and unreasonable, fair and unfair, justified and unwarranted.

What has prompted this whole thought train or derailment, as cynics might view it, is my trying to make sense of the basketful of challenges I have been given.

Am I working through some horrific karma? Was I Klaus Barbie or Vlad the Impaler in another life? A puppy puncher and braid puller? An antecedent of Britney Spears? God forbid, the inventor of Spam? Doubt it.

So why the sickness, the debt, the loss? To learn important lessons in order to evolve? Because it was destined? Because I manifested it?

Or is all this ‘poor, poor me’ pity party mentality simply caused by the insanely Self-obsessed monkey mind thinking everything that happens around us is about us? That seems really egocentric self-important.

Lots of questions. And I guess it boils down to, the more I learn the less I know. And I am guessing that’s a lot to know.

Duality as One.

“What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure? Whether you go up the ladder or down it, your position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground, you will always keep your balance.

What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear? Hope and fear are both phantoms that arise from thinking of the self. When we don't see the self as self, what do we have to fear?

See the world as your self. Have faith in the way things are. Love the world as your self; then you can care for all things.

Empty your mind of all thoughts.

Let your heart be at peace. Watch the turmoil of beings, but contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universe returns to the common source. Returning to the source is serenity.

If you don't realize the source, you stumble in confusion and sorrow. When you realize where you come from, you naturally become tolerant, disinterested, amused, kindhearted as a grandmother, dignified as a king.

Immersed in the wonder of the Tao, you can deal with whatever life brings you, and when death comes, you are ready. The great Tao flows everywhere”

Lao Tzu, Tao te Ching as translated by Stephen Mitchell