What Do You Think?

Let’s create our future, one where all are given the opportunity to enjoy the same liberties, freedoms, rights and hopes. We create our reality.

I will follow with a quote from Burma’s heart and hope, Nobel Laureate Daw Aung San Suu Kyi. Kyi, a pro-democracy activist and leader of the National League for Democracy in Myanmar (Burma), is a noted prisoner of conscience and advocate of nonviolent resistance.

A Buddhist, Suu Kyi won the Rafto Prize and the Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought in 1990 and in 1991 was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her peaceful and non-violent struggle under a military dictatorship.

She is currently under detention and has been for over 4,300 days, with the Myanmar government repeatedly extending her detention. According to the results of the 1990 general election, Suu Kyi earned the right to be Prime Minister, as leader of the winning National League for Democracy party, but her detention by the military junta prevented her from assuming that role.

“We achieve everything by our efforts alone. Our fate is not decided by an almighty God. We decide our own fate by our actions. You have to gain mastery over yourself. . . . It is not a matter of sitting back and accepting.” ~Daw Aung San Suu Kyi (1945 - )

We can create what we imagine.

Imagine a Free Burma, Create. Act. Think.

http://www.amnestyusa.org/pdf/myanmar_letter.pdf

http://www.uscampaignforburma.org/action/community.html

effort.

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

At times, it seems like an uphill battle, but that only drives us on.

Thank you for joining me in the fight to end the pandemic and human suffering caused by HIV.

Love

Craig


https://www.sfaf.org/give/marathon.cfm?e=FL07&f=Craig&l=Hermes&n=5053

Being Alive.

"To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, b. May 25, 1803



"Training? What the hell's training?" ~Craig Hermes, b. May 25, 1962



Friends, family, my ever-patient supporters, and generous of heart and spirit companions-

The above quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson was found inside a plastic Easter egg attached to my bike seat on Day 7 by the Chicken Lady, who has been doing the AIDS rides since 1994. She spent hours personally assembling and attaching these eggs to the over 2,333 bikes which were part of AIDS/LifeCycle 6. I've always loved the quote and attach particular poignance to it since Emerson and I share a birthday. Thank you, Chicken Lady, for your 13 years of joy, inspiration, dedication and heart in fighting the pandemic. You've kept us smiling and pedaling, when legs have said 'No more," and asses have said, "You gotta be kidding..." I dedicate a portion of this ride to you and look forward to riding with you again.

So, how was it?

In a word, extraordinary. Difficult, joyous, exhausting, exhilarting, somber, hilarious, sorrowful and hopeful. Often all these within the course of one good hill. The thing I find so impactful about these rides is that they don't allow you the luxury of not caring. The ride is life raw, unfiltered. I found myself frustrated to the point of tears, regretting the fact I was having difficulties, questioning my vitality and ability to stay the course. Then, as life/the universe/the path would have it, at my lowest point, pow--just the message I need to keep going. At lunch on Day 1, a sweet text message from my old roomie Susan telling me my spirit would carry me through. Tears, a chicken sandwich and a Gatorade, I got back on the bike and rode "Just one more pit stop..." At the next pit, feeling done for the day and maybe the event, a message from my friend Sabrina saying, "Bit by bit, bite by bite," and again I mustered the oomph to sit my untrained saddle sore butt on a seat for just a bit more, and before I knew it, Santa Cruz.

Well, maybe not before I knew it. I got in the camp 90 minutes later than the year before. Lifelong patterns of celebrating the disappointment and deflecting the accomplishment tried to trick me into feeling a failure. I took a breath, gave myself an attitude enema, and purged that caca out of my thinking. I finished! As my Aussie friend Simone would say, "Good on me!"

On Day 2, a century plus, I stopped for artichokes in honor of my friend Cathy and shared a great nosh with Diane, my Vaccine ride cohort and friend, her sister Nita, and a few hundred others. Back on the bike and rolled into camp at 7:00 as the route was closing, after almost 13 hours of cycling. As great good fortune would have it, Diane was right beside me. We looked at one another, and I said "I've never been this far back in the pack...and I LOVE it..." She agreed wholeheartedly, particularly enjoying the shorter lines at lunch and pits. I was quite a breakthrough for me. Always forced to the brink of defeat and despair by a cruel and relentless ego bent on perfection, I actually was buying the "Do your best" tenet I always aspired to.

With my shift, a new energy, drive, joy spurred me on. I woke up unnaturally happy at 4:15 am as Mariano stuck his finger in my ear and nose and rattled mylar. Ahhh, friends! Thank God for friends.

By Day three, I was the 1,048th person into lunch, now back in the thick of the event, riding beside Gutterbunnies, former AIDSRide friends and coworkers, and familiar friendly faces I had been cycling beside for over 13 years. Fast forward to Day 7, and I was the 102nd person into lunch. How on earth did that happen?

Drive, determination, and the ability to transcend discomfort. The shift in mindset of "Ugh, 545 miles with some significant hills," to, "Hey, only 15 miles to the next pit..."

Bit by bit, bite by bite.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."

As I rode in to closing cermonies, I was tired but satisfied, glad to have had the chance to bask in the amazing community of determined, compassionate, diverse, beautiful souls who unite once a year to do something very difficult, just because it needs to be done. I let the intense, tangible feeling of love eminating from this group of extraordinary individuals wash over me--and I openly sobbed. Sometimes life is too beautiful.

So what did we create? AIDS/LifeCycle 6 had 2,333 cyclists, almost 500 roadies and volunteers, raised over $11 million and was seen by over 10 million Californians. You opened your hearts and wallets and you have made a significant impact in the commitment to ending the pandemic and human suffering caused by HIV. A world without stigma, supporting our brothers and sisters, challenging assumptions about what it means to live with HIV, and challenging assumptions about what we can personally accomplish if we align heart, spirit, determination and, well, love. I rode behind a minister who had a sign on his bike which read, "Jesus would do the ride." Yeah I think he definitely would have.

In an ironic twist of fate, I returned home to a letter from my COBRA plan administrator saying there had been an error between my former employer, my insurer and the administrator. Even though they had been billing me at $210 a month and I had been paying it, they realized that my coverage had been incorectly assigned, and I should have been being billed $529 a month and I now owed $2,100, due by July 1st or my coverage would be terminated effective last February. And I would need to repay any benefits, prescriptions costs, or office visits between those dates. Oh, about $10,000 or so. And if I lose coverage, I am uninsurable for the rest of my life. Welcome to the wonderful world of living with HIV.

So I return to the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, again as a client, humbled, bike helmet in hand, and will work with a case worker and ADAP to ensure I can at least get my meds covered. This is why these events are necessary. They keep people alive. People like me. I don't particularly care if you identify as Republican, Libertarian, Green Party, Democrat or Independent--hell, you can even be a Whig if you like. All I ask is that as we head into an election year, place your vote with a candidate who is an advocate for health care reform. It's ludicrous that our profit driven system would rather allow people to fall into financial ruin or die due to lack of access to treatment. We are our brother's keeper. That which affects the least of us affects all of us. We all have HIV if one of us does.

Okay, off the soapbox.

This weekend, I start the AIDS Marathon training program for the Florence marathon. I must ensure services that have been there for me are there for others. I would love to have you be a part of my team for Florence. The link under my signature will allow you to donate securely. They even allow donations over time so a significant donation is a little less painful. I thank you for your consideration. You've saved my life more than once.

I also extend the offer I did last year. Please also consider participating as a cyclist or roadie in next year's AIDS/LifeCyle. I would love to form a Team Hermes. I will be your first donor and will support you on every step of your adventure. It will transform you, alchemical in its power.

Thank you, LAGLC and San Francisco AIDS Foundation, AIDS/LifeCycle community, my friends, family, donors and well-wishers. I am alive because of you all.

I leave you with a link to Raul Esparza singing 'Being Alive' from the Tony Awards. Please afford yourself the chance to truly hear it. It's a good metaphor for the ride and for life. Let the words seep into you, unfiltered. Allow yourself to feel, regain and celebrate your humanity. This is life, raw. Alive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8kYfPoHyos



"Somebody, hold me too close,

Somebody, hurt me too deep,

Somebody, sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive,
Being alive.

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.

Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!"

Namaste

I Honor the God in You.

Craig

https://www.sfaf.org/give/marathon.cfm?e=FL07&f=Craig&l=Hermes&n=5053

AIDS Marathon Florence 2007 Runner #5053, ALC Rider #4147, SFAF Client, HIV+ over 12 years, a pain in the ass for far longer

Still Necessary.

Friends, Family-
I am truly testing your good nature, I know this, but please hear me out. It's important.
The great news? 
Craig's Team of Family & Friends for ALC 2007 has already raised over $3,200 for my participation in the 575-mile journey this June.  Thank you SO MUCH for believing in me, for caring, for choosing action over complacency, for being the change we wish to see in the world.
So, why the email? 
I again humbly ask for your good humor and patience and ask that you read this email and consider its message.
In November, I will be participating in the AIDS Marathon in Florence, Italy, raising vital funds for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. I have committed to raising at least $4,200 dollars and I'd like to exceed $5,000+.  Hopefully, I can hit the mark.  Last year, we raised over $10,000 with AIDS/LifeCycle, so I'm confident we can do this.
My friends and family are engaged and active participants in creating positive social change.  I am just acting as a reminder or vehicle for action.  I hope that you will once again join me.
I run, I bike, I must.  This will be my second season of the AIDS Marathon.  Can't believe it was five years ago I ran in celebration of my 40th year and fifth year of being positive.
Five years later, still here, as is AIDS.  Not an easy five years, much life transition, money issues and recently some minor pesky immune issues.
I run to raise funds for people who so vitally need the services that were there for me.
I run to regain my power, my sense of hope and joy.
I run to create a world where assumptions about living with HIV are challenged.  A world that does not stigmatize a disease.  A world safer, more knowledgable for my niece & nephew.
And yes, I run to carve some blubber of my love handles.  Actually, that's just a nifty perk.  But those other reasons?
That's why I run.
It is our obligation to share our great good fortune. Please consider joining me in this next life-affirming adventure.  No Body Glide, DryWick or Band Aids on your nipples required.  I'll take care of those...
Below, a portion of my ALC letter, as well, to further explain my double participation in such a short period of time:
This paragraph is where I should say poignant things and make you feel the need for the event.  But, with this being my 12th year of participation, I've kind of said it all before.  What can I say except that it's still so vitally necessary, that people need to ride bikes extraordinary distances just to keep friends and family alive.  Kind people.  Many of these people not normally active.  It's not easy, it is commitment, drive, compassion.  Your family, friends, neighbors--all connected, we are all our brother's keepers.  I decided to challenge myself in a new way this year, by becoming a recurring donor at Keep a Child Alive.  For $30 bucks a month, the price of just one of my 60 antiviral pills I take in a month, I am providing a month's supply of antivirals for someone in Africa.  I can't give up two weeks of Biggie Diet Cokes so that a child can live?  Of course I can!  The extraordinary, prohibitive costs of health insurance  and antiviral regimens here in the US makes this journey necessary.

Still Necessary.
Namaste
I Honor the God in You.
Craig
AIDS Marathon Florence 2007 Runner #5053, ALC Rider #4147, SFAF Client, HIV+ over 12 years, a pain in the ass for far longer
P.S. Please forward this page to your friends and family; they can just click or cut-n-paste this link and make a secure, online donation: https://www.sfaf.org/give/marathon.cfm?e=FL07&f=Craig&l=Hermes&n=5053

Think pro-karma spam! Delicious.

"Franciscooooooooo. That's fun to say..." ~Buddy the Elf.

Hello My Family and Friends from San Francisco!

Am I the non-cartoon version of 'Where's Waldo?' or what? I'm settling back into a life, striving to reduce and simplify, and in all likelihood, amassing and complicating as I go...we do our best, huh? Was laughing with my great friend Sabrina about the noble and freakishly unattainable goal of making life simpler. It came down to, 'I only want a few things, but nice, newest versions of things..." I hate the things I love and love the things I hate. Well, that's enough mental wordsmith push-ups for early morning.

I made the decision two days ago to participate in in AIDS/LifeCycle 6 this June 3 - 9, a 575-mile bike ride in support of the services and clients of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

I hope that last sentence wasn't the DELETE NOW prompt that I imagine it might be. "Uh oh, he's fundraising AGAIN, ABORT ABORT!!!!"

Wow, you're still here! Thank you for at least humoring me for another paragraph or three.

I signed up on the ride last year, but kind of assumed that with the transition and extreme debt mountain I've amassed, it wouldn't even be within the realm of the possible. (Don't worry, I PROMISE I won't say 'I'mpossible.' with requisite branding and copyright.) But I put the idea out there, and people cleared the path for me and showed me that anything you can imagine, can occur. Power of the will, the kindness of friends. It's a great thing.

This paragraph is where I should say poignant things and make you feel the need for the event. But, with this being my 12th year of participation, I've kind of said it all before. What can I say except that it's still so vitally necessary, that people need to ride bikes extraordinary distances just to keep friends and family alive. Kind people. Many of these people not normally active. It's not easy, it is commitment, drive, compassion. Your family, friends, neighbors--all connected, we are all our brother's keepers. I decided to challenge myself in a new way this year, by becoming a recurring donor at Keep a Child Alive. For $30 bucks a month, the price of just one of my 60 antiviral pills I take in a month, I am providing a month's supply of antivirals for someone in Africa. I can't give up two weeks of Biggie Diet Cokes so that a child can live? Of course I can! The extraordinary, prohibitive costs of health insurance and antiviral regimens here in the US makes this journey necessary.

So, logistics. I'd love to have your support. I wouldn't ask if it weren't necessary. I hate asking for money (did I hear eyes rolling?) but for this I get over the discomfort so that I provide you the opportunity to to be involved, without saddle sores, hemmorhoids or spider veins. Maybe just a little carpal tunnel from writing a check or, even easier, donating online! I can't guarantee you won't get grin cramps, of course.

Click here to donate securely online: https://www.aidslifecycle.org/donate/form.cfm?n=4147

Please consider joining my effort. Thanks for your time and continued presence in my life.

Namaste/Peace/Love
Craig
Rider #4147, SFAF Client, HIV+ over 12 years, Pain in the Ass far longer

A World Without AIDS. WORLD AIDS DAY 2006.

Here we are 25 years later, the pandemic continues. In fact, AIDS has gone on to become the number three cause of death worldwide.

I ask you to take a moment to think of those gone from the disease. For those continuing to live with the virus. For the countless orphans in Africa, Asia, here in America, who will never know their parents.

We are extremely blessed in this country. We all have legitimate gripes and annoyances, but for the most part, we are bathed in an embarrassment of riches compared to the majority of our fellow men & women.

I ask that you follow this link to light a candle. For each click, Bristol-Myers Squibb will donate a dollar to the National AIDS Fund. There is no form to fill out, no email to input, just a click. And from that, grows hope.

https://www.lighttounite.org/

Thank you, Bristol-Myers Squibb, and thank you, my friends and family, for doing what you can to ease the pain and suffering caused by the pandemic. Just a click away.

Namaste/Peace

Craig

Hey- why not forward it to your friends as well? We are powerful beyond measure in numbers.