Saturday, February 24, 2007

Wow! A Spring in The Spring!



Had the most profound experience walking fugee today. It was crystal clear sunshine and COLD cold COLD out. As I was walking up Page, I felt an unusual buoyancy, a lightness and a sloppy grin spreading across my face.

Yes. It was there. I had a spring in my step.

Might not sound too astounding, but I was delighted and a bit flabbergasted. I've had a tough readjustment to SF--unexpected debt, three dear friends all dealing with familial catastrophic illness, and a lot of concern over Fugee's health post-dog bite and pancreatitis attack.

I like to call these periods of my less-than-ebullient side the dance of the dark twin. Being Gemini, I'm used to the highs and lows of a somewhat bipolar existence. But I got into a dark twin phase and got stuck.

Oh, I've had bouts with depression before, and they were never, "Oh, alas, alack! Poor me, boo hoo hoo!" They were more like, "Hmmm. A 27- hour nap sounds DELIGHTFUL!" When I don't have at my fingertips the usual ability to inspire or be grateful I hibernate. Life's too short to fake it.

So imagine my surprise at a return to the Craig you and I normally know. What spurred this? I decided to rekindle my passion and do another year of AIDS/LifeCycle.

CAR and ALC have been stalwart friends to me for over 12 years. They brought me through illness, hopelessnes, showed me how to challenge my assumptions of what is possible in my life. They help me to remember the interconnectedness of all, the choice of action over apathy, the power of will and love of community.

I get to bask in seven fantastic days of the world as it should be, and get to raise vital funds and lose ugly bellyfat in the process. SO, what's not to spring about?

Don't worry, I am no more (or less) crazy than I always am! Blame it on the Spring, the rain, my wild heart--I don't care. It's good to go a little crazy every so often. Prince wouldn't lie, uh uh.

Springing through my spring, I'm back.

"A little Madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King - Emily Dickenson

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